In one of our occasional posts on what goes on behind the scenes at Between Lawyers in which we open the door on how lawyers really discuss legal issues of the day, here's the very learned discussion that ensued:

Dennis (note that Dennis did not realize that Denise had already posted on this topic):"Here's an interesting list on IP extremes [from Mother Jones mag], but when you read the blurb about John Cage below, it makes you wonder whether Marty might have been the lawyer in the case."

The blurb: "FOR INCLUDING a 60-second piece of silence on their album, the Planets were threatened with a lawsuit by the estate of composer John Cage, which said they’d ripped off his silent work 4’33”. The Planets countered that the estate failed to specify which 60 of the 273 seconds in Cage’s piece had been pilfered."

Marty: "I've never heard one of Cage's actual pieces. Are they 'dead air' or is the point that you hear the ambient noises (musicians sitting quietly)?"

Dennis: "Well, 4'33" is an anomalous work in Cage's canon - an intellectual witticism and a response of sorts to critics who thought his music was so darn weird. The answer to your question on the piece is, therefore, "yes." The intention of the silence would be to force you to reconsider what music, sound, silence and performance really are - a riff on Magritte's "Ceci n'est pas une Pipe" painting. It's kind of one trick pony, though, because you can only do something like that once. In its context, then, the lawyer's response to the lawsuit is the perfect artistic response and, in my mind, perhaps the artistic zenith of the legal profession in the last however many hundreds of years. Another contemporary analogy, of course, would be Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music. Excuse me, while I go crank that up and meditate on these artistic thoughts. Just my two cents."

Marty: "I guess my question really was, how did Cage's lawyers know that it was Cage's silence at all? Agreed that it is a truly great response."

Denise: (who noticed that neither Dennis nor Marty had been aware of her post on the topic) "Given that I blogged the Mother Jones List on BL, PLEASE blog at least some of the delightful context set forth in these emails there as well. (And don't be callin' ME no one trick pony, because there obviously are no limits to how many times I can persuasively urge you/all to "blog it.")"

For Wikipedia fans, I do realize that this blog and Wikipedia have very little in common, except both Wikipedia and Between Lawyers credit Denise Howell with coining the word, "blawg."

First, a pretty tame picture of me singing "Always Billing Time" (to the tune of "For the Longest Time") at this year's show.

Next, here's a link to a song we recorded a few years ago -- it's a barbershop quartet number called How Could You Believe Me?

Hopefully I haven't just compromised any remaining integrity I had around here.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While unspeakable visions did dance in their heads.
And Ernie in his Treo, and I in my thong,
Had just settled down with a good Springsteen song.

When out in the Ninth there arose such a clatter,
(And not just 'cause the Supremes think us Mad as a Hatter).
On over to Howard's I clicked (without Flash),
Tore into the case, and turned down the mash.

It took a few moments, though I'm far from deaf,
for the file to load up ('twas a cursed PDF).
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A lustrous dissent! And the word "blawg" so clear!

With a little old author, so lively and hot,
I knew in a moment Kozinski I'd got.
More legal than eagles, his sources they came,
And he chided and scolded and called them by name!

"Through these lengthy proceedings, this judge, if he's that,
based his actions on something right out of a hat.
Not a case, not a statute, not treatise nor tome,
Was cited to justify where he did roam."

As questionable authorities before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with sound precedent, up to the sky,
So up to the house top, and on through the smog:
"Not a law review article — not even a blawg!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the land,
the wailing and weeping of Unlearned Hand.
As I drew up my head, and was turning around,
I knew I had run the cause right to the ground.

Oh why, Judge Kozinski? Your timing does blow!
Just 400, you know, will be all who will go!
A bundle of blawgers would give their eyeteeth,
to hear Larry and Barry and Sergey — (no Keith?).

Our hopes — how you've dashed them! The world now — how chary!
Of those at the end of your list they'll be wary.
Your nod to our presence, though lovely and fine,
Has put us, no bones, at the end of the line,

Of writers whose words perhaps warrant belief.
Your list does encircle our PageRanks like a wreath.
It has a broad reach, near as broad as the telly,
And leaves little blawgs in a heap sort of smelly.

We were clubby and pumped, a right jolly old meme,
With more juice when we posted than it might have seemed.
But a blink of your eye and a shake of your head,
Soon gave us to know we had much left to dread.

For together with those who think "blawg" is distasteful,
(And those who think words not in Webster's are wasteful),
I'm afraid that the finger is all that we've got,
From Google, re Zeitgeist — invited, we're not.

(Rick or Glenn, if you are, I just don't want to hear it.
There's already too much that's crushing my spirit.)
But I heard them exclaim, as they blawged late at night,
"If you're going to dis us, then link us — all right??"

I think, however, we are overlooking a lucrative niche market: lawyers. In particular, litigators. These are people who lead highly stressful lives where being combative and ill-tempered is pretty much the norm. So what kind of exercise regimen could be devised to help these tense souls dissipate all that internalized aggression?

I'm thinking 'some form of stretching, coupled with the indiscriminate use of automatic weapons.'